fishesoutofwater | TEST DIVE #3

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test dive

TEST DIVE #3

PREMISE & NAVIGATION ✦ RULES ✦ MOD CONTACT
TAKEN ✦ RESERVES ✦ APPLICATIONS ✦ HIATUS & DROPS
FAQ ✦ BASE ✦ BIOMES ✦ URSULA ✦ URSULA CONTACT

TEST DIVE MEME

Reserves open on the 17th
Applications open on the 24th
Check out our ATP/Enable Me meme!

NOTE REGARDING THIS APPLICATION CYCLE

For information about the animals and locations, be sure to check out the BIOME and BASE pages! Note that TDM threads can be used for game canon and several prompts are based on crew contributions to the base that are being worked on this month!

A: There’s a Storm on the Horizon
A brainstorm. On advice about the ingenuity of multi person parties, and from admitted lack of understanding of many needs of organics, URSULA has selected you and a partner (or partners) to go to one of the observatories with food, beds, and recording devices to have a jam session for ideas about missions.

You are not to leave the room until you have some good ones. So get cracking! Start suggesting to one another what the base needs to do.

Or get horribly, horribly sidetracked and possibly a little crazy at being locked up together with the ocean staring at you. Judging.

B: The Abysmal Sea
You’re stranded.

One of the planet’s troublesome signal-interfering pulses has just made your communication devices 100% nonfunctional. No matter how you try to call URSULA for help, she isn’t able to respond. The database strapped to your wrist is just a useless chunk of metal now, leaving you without a useful library of knowledge to survive off. If you were driving any underwater vehicle prior to this point, it’s broken down. And unless you’re a mechanic, it’ll be pretty hard to get it jumpstarted again.

Don’t fret! The communication systems always come online eventually, so if you stay put, it’ll boot back up and give you directions straight back to base so you can finally get home. But can you really afford to stay put? The sunlight’s slowly streaming out of the sky, leaving the waters darker and darker with each passing second. Soon, you won’t be able to see five feet in front of you, and the only warning you’ll get of any approaching threat is through sound, if they even make any.

You have a few choices: take a daring risk and try swimming back to base, but on the off-chance you don’t remember the directions correctly from before you were cut off, you’re going to get even more lost, in the darkness of the night no less. Or, you could huddle in, with any friends if they were unfortunate enough to be with you, and start focusing on getting warm. Because spending the night out here in the vast oceans with the entire world against you is becoming a very, very real possibility.

C: Test Drive Test Dives
The Robotics section of the laboratory needs your help! Whether you were a poor sap who got dragged into it or love working on robots, this is your time to shine!

A few suits need testing to get the kinks out of them. And you know, figure out how they work in general. So be a dear and get in one so the others can watch you flail around and discover how it works.

If you're not into being a crash test dummy, you can help do repair work, analyze blueprints of various underwater vehicles, bring in scrap metal to work with or maybe just try painting the Seamoth neon pink.

D: Camping Trip
Floater Island is the only real land around so even if it's a longer trip, it's nice to volunteer for an overnight mission there sometimes. Who doesn't want to camp out under the stars when you've been living under the sea this whole time? Attempt to make s'mores out of plants and that chocolate bar you have left! Play with Birdogs! Go for a swim in the lake! Try very hard to get some sort of emotional response from a Light Frog!

Well, sure, you're here on a mission but it's okay to goof off and enjoy yourselves with some campfire stories and freshly cooked Chomper kebobs sometimes. Just grab a few samples from the abandoned farm at least so it looks like you actually worked.

E: THE AURORA
Quiet except for the creaks and rumbles as the ship settles and shifts, the sound of Reapers screaming in the distance every so often, the Aurora is a creepy place to visit for a mission. The remains of those crew members not buried, and the belongings of many others, still litter the ship's halls. It might be nice to remove any skeletons you find.

Of course, their misfortune is your opportunity to catch up on some reading, browse whatever video games they left, get medical supplies and enjoy the comforts they no longer need.

But is it possible the Aurora is haunted? Surely not. Except sometimes you might hear voices from far away. It might just be the people you came on board with, unless they're with you. Or it might be a Cave Crawler knocking over some recording device. You're not too scared to check, right?

F: Farmville
Time to tend to the crops! That's right, the underwater farm needs your help. Some trees and plants rest on the seabed under protective covers that allow them to grow their leaves and fruits while the roots firmly keep them in the sand. Harvest some apples, more apples, oranges, strawberries and other delicious produce that sounds much, much better than a regular diet of fish.

And once you've helped get a basket full of crops for the base, it's time to cook them! But what are you going to make? Apple stuffed fish? Orange stuffed fish? Nah, get creative with what you have! Everyone is counting on you for dinner!

BASED ON CODE BY TESSISAMESS AND SUPERSUITS

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

Preferably all of them.

[ however, as karkat is aware that is sadly not really feasible, he adds, ] But mostly goddamn piffle.

[He pouts a little, because really piffle is such a smashing word. But sometimes one must make compromises for the sake of harmony and friendship. He gestures at his mouth.]

My lips have been thoroughly zippered from any words containing p, i, f, f, l and e in that order.

[ somehow this still doesn't feel like a win? but whatever. karkat turns around so they can start swimming in the direction they were originally going to. ]

Oh my fuck you are such a nerd. The resemblance between you, John, and Jade is so real it's terrifying.

[Jake's eyes light up. That really backfired.]

Really? Well slap me and call me betsy if that isn't just the most heartfelt compliment I've ever gotten!

[ THAT... WASN'T A COMPLIMENT...

says the dude who had crushes on them but. whatever. ]

What? No! I didn't mean it that way you dumbass and also who the fuck is Betsy?

That happens to be an unexplainable mystery of the English language. Pretty cool, right?

[Karkat's so nice indulging his curiosities like this.]

[ no??? oh my fuck this conversation just went really wrong

how does he fix this so that he doesn't end up gagging?? ]

Jegus fuck we are not continuing this conversation any longer. We are going to talk about something else, as long as it's not this, right now.

[Another conversation topic? He has to think of this...]

...Do you like movies?

[Perfect.]

[ oh no. ]

Do I like movies? Who the fuck do you think you're talking to here? I consider myself someone with expert taste in the ways of cinema, English. I only strive for the best to grace my sight globes with. I have very recently watched one of your human films that was slightly better than most of your usual trash. Bend It like Beckham? It was about the sports although I personally think the movie completely fucked over the romance aspect. Jess and Jules were clearly perfectly matched for matespritship? Or whatever you call your dumb human equivalent of it. If everyone on your planet wasn't dead I would write a very strongly worded letter to the director of this movie for being a piece of shit and not allowing these girls to love.

[ OH NO??? ]

[Jake would gesture more enthusiastically if he weren't swimming.]

Oh hot diggity dog you bet! I must admit the romantic plotline with Joe was somewhat rushed and the real heart of the movie came from Jess and Jules. Truthfully, had they become an item, the movie would have been stronger for it, making it perfect.

[Wow Jake willing to say a movie had a flaw. But only because it could have been even better than it was.]

No one else appreciates movies as much as me. How thrilling!

[ karkat sort of just squints at jake suspiciously because he isn't used to people agreeing with him about movies? so there has to be a catch somewhere.

(there is a catch and that catch is jake's love for every single movie.) ]

Egbert is really into movies but he has terrible taste and all of his opinions are wrong. All of them.

[Look Jake rec'd Human Centipede to Dave this can only end badly.]

That can't be. I am certain John must have good opinions, because our taste is similar apparently. They can't be any worse than Dirk's at any rate. He thinks everything I watch is awful.

[ it's been decided karkat and jake need to watch the human centipede together and then karkat will ignore jake for an entire month.

also, karkat isn't sure what to think about that? since he doesn't know what dirk's taste in movies is. karkat hates dave's tastes though, so if his are similar to dirk's then??? this might be a problem. ]

I'm going to give you a very quick lesson that will save you a lot of time. John's taste in absolutely everything is bad. He has literally never had a good opinion in his entire 7.4 sweeps of living. Just accept this and everything will be so much easier for you in the long run.

[This will be an awful experience for everyone involved, except Jake who loves all movies.

Though he's very surprised to hear John has bad taste.]

I thought John loves movies. Aw, man. Well at least we can discuss movies like real, civilized folks instead of everyone else and their crummy taste.

This may be the start of a somewhat decent friendship. Or a slightly better than average one.

[ no this is going to end terribly.

at least they will always have bend it like beckham. ]

I do have to admit I held some reservations about you prior to this but it looks like I just needed to buckle in and get to know you.

Wait. Why the fuck would you have reservations about me? I'm a delight.

[ karakt you literally insulted him multiple times?? ]

[Karkat... How can Jake word this politely.]

You're kind of a dick, dude.

[There that's perfect.]

[ karkat gasps, although it's hard to tell if it's genuine or him being overdramatic. probably a mix of both. ]

What the fuck? Name one single thing that I have done that is even remotely dickish.

[Jake is trying to be specific but he's already managed to be a dick several times so hm.]

Well, uh. Aside from being really uncouth, I would say you have the general demeanour of a dick.

Alright so what does that even mean? Demeanor of a dick? Jake that makes no sense, you are literally just making shit up just to insult me now. After all I have done for you, like that one time I kicked that seamoth and hurt my foot. It's still kind of sore, you know, you ungrateful asshole.

[ and now they are back to square one. ]

[Wait a second what. Hang on.]

Wait one cotton-pickin' minute! You have been insulting me the entire time. I think that equates to having a demeanour of a prick, which is not just the same as a dick anyway but a two letter substitution away.

Don't be ridiculous, English. This is just how I talk. I am not singling you out just to be a dick. Except for those times where you deserved it for being annoying. But I talk like this to everyone, and I think that you are being very culturally insensitive right now.

[Well. He can't really fight that. The trolls do seem like a special bunch. Except Tavrosprite? Maybe he' just weird though.]

Oh. Sorry. I wasn't trying to be insensitive to your own cultural norms but you have to admit that is one heck of a difference.

[ that is actually like the only time someone has actually surrounded the argument when karkat accused them of being culturally insensitive. he is taken by so much surprise that it takes him a few seconds to even grasp that jake relented. ]

I am graciously offering you another benefit of the doubt. You, unfortunately, were not graced by trolls in your session until we arrived, so I know that I need to grant you a learning curve here. And I will. Because I am a great fucking guy.

tfw you forget to type the most important word in your tag

it's okay karkat is right all of them should be banned

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one day i will stop forgetting to italicize

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i laughed really badly at this

i love karkat

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