[ at least dave has finally found the one person in the universe who will get every pop culture reference he throws down without missing a beat. good job, dirk. ]

Whoa, hold up, do you actually tan? Why the fuck did I get freckle-and-sunburn genes and tossed into goddamn Texas if there were legitimate tanning genes somewhere in this family tree, I call bullshit and demand a recount or somethin'. Rose didn't need them and if she got them I'm leading a revolution. There will be banners. Possibly bedazzled with comic sans, to make my point really stick.

[ no but seriously unfair??????????????? ]