[ Does Dirk want to be Dave's favorite person in the universe, because that's honestly what will happen for whoever finally gets him an apple. If he has an apple, he can reproduce apple juice, right? ]

P sure candied kelp is a thing, dude. Although we might need like...honey and shit for that?

[ Also it just doesn't sound appetizing. ]

Hey did you ever have a quesadilla in post-apocalyptic texas?