What the fuck why do you always immediately assume I had a crush on someone? It's not always about crushes, Dave! I am able to have strictly platonic feelings for people that also do not veer into moirail territory!

[ lbr karkat definitely had a crush on sollux. ]

Are you telling me you have never sat on John before? I mean, ignoring the fact that you only met in person fairly recently. But I am pretty sure you would have sat on him if you had the chance in a very bro way. Like how I am sitting on you right now, in a bro way. As bros. Since that is what we are.